1st June

It was a Monday and it happened to be a public holiday, a replacement holiday for the 31st May, a Kaamatan Holiday. Tondu, who came for her usual weekend visit on the previous Saturday, stayed on at Tintap for that Monday because some members of the extended family from my side had earlier promised to come for a casual visit. It was also a Gawai holiday in Sarawak and the Kunjins were around in Kota Kinabalu.

Velvet, a young happy lodger, almost a core-owner and permanent resident at Tintap Farm, had earlier given birth. Her sisters, Marsha and Linda, stayed with her in Tintap Farm all along. While Velvet was already a nursing mother, her sisters too were both on their family way. I went to pay Velvet a visit. Marsha and Linda, without asking me for permission, tagged along with me. I did not mind at all for I loved them both too. It was somewhat a prolonged visit as, at that time, I knew I was not going to be late for anything and at that time too, the sun was still in the East. With Velvet and her sisters I can never overstay their welcome. Tondu was at the back of the farmhouse doing things she thought she had to do. I did not bother her with verbal inputs of Velvet’s condition as she was not in her good book anyway, so to speak.

I was very particular in the taking of my pills and sometimes I adjusted the pharmacy’s instructions to suit to my own personal convenience. That morning I rightly took the captopril 500mg and the metoprolol 100mg before breakfast. But together with those before-food pills I also took my after-food metformin 500mg. Remotely, I was thinking that I should take in something in the form of a breakfast within the half hour time that morning.

Sadam came in for something that morning. I had a big cup of Nescafe-3-in-1 with him. As a breakfast it was considered very scanty as an intake of food. It was all right for a social drink when friends came in for a visit. But I rested it as my breakfast for that morning. When Sadam had gone back that was the time when I went to see Velvet. I thought I saw her expressed great pleasure in my visit. Actually I did not expect her to be so productive but she favoured me with six. I stroke her head and spoke to her in simple English, telling her not to move around too much in her condition. It was the 7th time she changed her place. She must have been tired carrying around the ‘loves of her heart’. Yes, she had six little blighters!

I must have squatted down too long next to her for when I stood up the world seemed to tumble while turning around fast…very fast. I thought I saw many stars in my dimming milky way. My eyebrows and other facial muscles components quivered and my vision dimmed. My legs seemed to give way but I still had the presence of mind to grab the nearest shed post. The post did not help me for I grabbed it, it did not grab me. I had blacked out.

I had no way of knowing how long I actually had been in that state of sure-peaceful absence. When I came around, I was surprised to realise that I found myself full length lying on the ground among the protruding rambutan roots and next to some ancient broken must-be burial jar pieces. Feeling self conscious and sort of ashamed I quickly picked myself up, brushing away the dirt off my shirt. My body might have quivered a bit for I was quite soiled with dirt and dead leave pieces. I looked around to ensure no one saw me. Sure enough, I was alone. I felt so cool, cooler than a cool misty morning. I also felt seemingly so far away from any worldly noise for I thought it was so quiet. Not a soul was walking on the often frequented road nearby. Even Tondu who was easily within earshot did not hear or notice me. Could she have run to my aid if she saw that little episode? Or, could she have only gingerly and laughingly walked to me? Or, could she be capable of pretending not see anything and looked the other way? I wondered. If I were given the opportunity to choose one of my own above three suppositions, I would have gladly chosen the second one … the walking slowly and laughingly to me, to counteract

I was in tolerable lower left side chest pain that day … and ever since, yet I did not clearly indicate it. I had meant to see the doctor that week but I decided not to for I thought I could grow it out, so to speak. But on 11th June, after 10 days, the pain had persisted and intensified. I decided to go to KL … not KL, the faraway KL but Klinik Luyang. I was assigned to see Dr Farukh Ihsan Ahmad. She issued me a PER-SS-RA 301 to Putatan Klinik for a chest x-ray. I told the Dr that I was not energetic enough to make the trip, as I was alone, and requested for her alternative treatment. She was so good by not enforcing her opinion. She therefore gave me an ointment for the bruised part and pain killer to swallow twice a day.

But, circumstances forced me to go to Putatan Klinik for a chest x-ray on 15th June. I had to take that x-ray to complete the medical package requirement for my firearm licence renewal application. Tania obliged me with her most needed company as she was driving arista. When I got my image x-ray negative I brought it to the Dr I was assigned to at Room 18 on 16th afternoon, only the next day. She did not even look at the negative x-ray. I was not pleased for she did not even react to item 4 on the Police Form. I told her that I was taking the medical examination for a purpose. She blurted out that she had signed the form. Knowing that she was in command of the situation, I decided that the power of an authority signature must be acknowledged. Like a meek fool I accepted everything at that, thanked her and left.

On 17th June it was my time to see another Dr for my once-in-3-months appointment. That was for my Diabetes and Hypertension treatment. When I narrated to the Dr that little episode on 1st June, he said, “If it resulted to some broken bones, you would not be able to move at all. And, one thing, it happened quite a while ago.” I took his additional note to mean that if anything would have been so bad, like death, then it could have already happened. I appreciated his manly comments and was pleased on hearing an opinion like that. He gave me some pain killer tablets.

In a matter of a short time, spaced by a few days in between, I managed to professionally see three medical professionals. All three displayed their different professional mannerisms. If I liked the 1st young lady, I also liked the old man, the man who told me that I had no broken ribs. The doctor with her precious signature might be called by the Penampang OCPD to verify what she had actually signed for lawfully on the Police Form. On hind-sights it is thought that death could happen so easily. I am reminded by James 4:17 where it, among other points mentioned, likens life to that of only a puff of smoke. When I fell to the ground I thought I heard a thud. I thought I also heard myself made a little groan. I did not feel any pain. Should I have knocked my heard on something harder than my skull, it could have been fatal. Should I have died due to that fall, then I could have woken up in spirit only in the next world. Was I prepared to “go beyond the sunset” on that 1st June morning? I could have just made it to 65 years 5 months and 2 days! Comparatively, that had been quite a long journey already. But, no doubt, others have lived longer. God, as always, is great. He did not yet allow eternity to begin for me. He must have said, “Not yet, Joe, not yet. Go back and continue to honour and give glory to my name for I am your God and you are my boy.” I always thank Him in all and for all circumstances.